by Mohammed Arif Joiya
In1976 I went to Arogya Mandir, a nature cure institute at Gorakhpur, and benefited greatly from my stay there. In those days I also read many spiritual books and entered into religious discussions with various colleagues. All this awakened me but did not quench my thirst. On the contrary, it made me more agitated and spurred me on to a further search. I was looking for a teacher who would really make me experience the truth. I wanted to realize within myself the esoteric expressions in the form of living peace and energy. Not being satisfied with entertaining discourses, I wanted to realize and experience the truth for myself.
Temples, mosques, pagodas, and gurudwara [Sikh temples] along with all the scriptures could not hold my mind. I was still overwhelmed by an empty, unsatisfied life. In such a wounded state, I opened myself and expressed my spiritual aspirations before Dr. Vithaldas Modi, founder of Arogya Mandir, and demanded a way out. He advised me to attend a Vipassana meditation course and sent me a small pamphlet and application form for Vipassana. I read and understood it, but was frightened: ``Oh ! This is the religion of Buddhists, atheists. These Buddhists don’t believe in Soul and God. What can they teach ? I am a Muslim. I cannot commit this crime.’’ But my heart within again said that the advice of Dr Modi should be obeyed. ``Why should he wish ill of me ? Whatever he advises is certainly for my benefit and welfare. Let me try and see.’’ So I went to the Vipassana International Meditation Centre near Hyderabad in February 1978 to attend a Vipassana course.
I arrived late but was pleased to find the place very quiet and peaceful. Mr Bachubhai Shah, who was an organizer, received me with great love and hospitality. He said, ``Arifbhai, you have missed a day but I am sure that Goenkaji will accept you on the course. Don’t worry. You may take a bath and have breakfast while I go and speak to him about you.’’ I was pleased with this pure, affectionate reception and reassurance from Mr Bachubhai.
While I was waiting I started looking around at the students observing Noble Silence. And I was experiencing a slight fever which I had been feeling from the moment I had stepped onto this holy land. This was the fever of some unknown fear. I felt that my ego was going to be sacrificed, and I was ready for it.
Goenkaji sent for me. I went, bowed down and smiled. He and his wife were seated on chairs. He appeared to be a scientist, a doctor, or a literary person.
``Come and sit down.’’I sat on the border of the carpet and smiled.``What is the nature of your work ?’’``I am a physical training teacher in Udasar, Sir.’’``Hmmm... What is the problem ?’’``Stammering speech, Sir. A little difficulty.’’``Okay. It will be alright. There will be instructions in the evening. Until then observe your breath and remain aware of it.’’``Very good, Sir.’’``Then go,’’ he said smilingly. I bowed down, paid respects, and smilingly came out of the hall.
I started thinking, ``What sort of Guru have I got ? He is a worldly person. Could there be a Guru like this ? Married ! Householder ! No beard, no moustache, clean shaven ? No marks on the forehead ? No long hair ? No ochre robes ? He had on a terylene half-sleeved shirt, and colourful checked lungi. At least he should have been wearing khadi (home-spun) cloth. Absolutely modern, very ordinary. How can he teach meditation ? Never mind, I have come, so let me try and see.’’
After a short while when I, along with hundreds of meditators, started following the instructions of Goenkaji of observing and remaining aware of the breath and feeling its touch, a silent voice within me arose and whispered, ``Oh ! This is exactly what I was looking for. I’ve got it. I must work hard. I’m already one day late so I should not waste a single moment.’’ I started meditating with great enthusiasm.
In the evening the instructions were given. Goenkaji said: ``Repeat what I say in Pali.’’ I repeated that for the duration of the meditation course I would abstain from killing, theft, sexual misconduct, speaking lies and taking intoxicants. I liked the five precepts. But along with them I had to repeat, ``I take refuge in Buddha. I take refuge in Dhamma. I take refuge in Sangha.’’ At that moment I refrained, but later there was a little discontentment in the mind. ``Look, Modiji trapped me. He put me in a whole new position as if a snake has swallowed a rat. Oh ! Khan Saheb, these people have sunk your ship. Now go in your society as a Buddhist.’’
At any rate, I recovered and started to observe the breath. Again the same train of thought came. But when the awareness of breath steadied a little, this problem automatically and gradually resolved itself. Now I didn’t want to think of these problems. I started progressing. During the rest period, even after finishing lunch, etc., I continued meditation. The fact that I was a day late and other meditators must be farther advanced inspired me more. I continued meditation without any other thought.
A television screen started shining before my closed eyes. I very clearly perceived the shaping of dormant impurities of the mind starting to arise and pass away. It was like the dirtiest, wildest film I had ever seen. Such obnoxious prejudices appeared which made me feel like vomiting. But I understood at the same time that it was doing me good. Impurities were coming out. It was a good thing.
On the fourth day Vipassana was given. A new voice arose within my heart. ``I have practised this technique some time in the past. It is very simple and familiar !’’ I continued to progress from the gross to the subtle.
By Day Seven I realized that this technique of meditation is so simple that any child or even an illiterate person can learn and effectively practise it. Just to observe the natural breath with closed eyes and continued awareness that it is coming in, going out, and it is touching somewhere. Continuing to observe the breath, the witnessing faculty of the mind establishes automatically. And then one has to observe objectively the sensations throughout the body from head to toe in a particular order. Sensations may be pleasant or painful. Both have to be observed with equanimity. By repeating the same process over and over again, quiet concentration of the mind and equanimity gradually increase.
As I slept that night, a terrible thing happened. It was almost midnight. I saw that a very ferocious demon had seized my neck with both hands and had started shaking my head around and around and said, ``Oh evil soul ! You have brought me here in this ashram ! Just wait, I will show you.’’ And with enormous force he threw my body on the ground. Along with it the very sweet voice of Goenkaji came to my ears, ``Son, do not worry. Come near me. Come, do not be frightened.’’ I awoke fearful and frightened, looked around with open eyes and saw the foreign meditators who were my room-mates fast asleep. Immediately I understood that it was a nightmare. It was a play of my mind. It was a trick to force me to leave the course by any means. Impurities were being eradicated. All the torture was due to that. I came out of the room; saw the lights on and the trees standing with their branches and leaves swinging and singing, as if some quiet festival was being celebrated. I started listening and then realized, ``Oh ! This is a conspiracy of the unconscious mind. I now understand. I am not leaving without completing the course.’’ I relaxed, smilingly returned to bed, and meditating while lying down, eventually went to sleep.
Dawn broke. There was meditation in the hall. After lunch I was overwhelmed with another experience. I felt that my head and hands were swinging as though they belonged to someone else. I was in a very tranquil, detached, equanimous witnessing state. ``Oh Gotama Buddha ! How did you discover this unique meditation technique ? You kept on teaching people this sacred art. And once again this art has become available for people’s welfare. Salutations to you, my Lord. Again and again I prostrate before your compassionate feet. Endless prostrations.’’ I now understood the meaning of ``I take refuge in Buddha’’ as refuge in one’s own bodhi or enlightenment, not the personality of Siddhartha Gotama. The meaning of ``I take refuge in Dhamma’’ is that one has to be established in one’s own true nature, not in any sectarian religion. The meaning of ``I take refuge in Sangha’’ is to take refuge in those noble ones who have become well-established in Dhamma, whatever their race, colour or nationality. From this sacred moment onwards, the word death, full of theories and tears, just melted from the book of my life and flowed away like melted snow. Oh, no ! No being dies. Death is impossible. Everyone keeps on moving on the journey according to one’s own actions. And the final destination of the journey is nirvana. Now I understood what one’s own religion is and what the religion of others is. Without purifying the mind of impurities by Vipassana and realizing our own nature, life is lived in the religion of others. Living in one’s own nature is Svadharma, the true Dhamma.
On the ninth day a new meditation technique was taught -- the technique of metta bhavana whereby one shares one’s own merits with beings all around. This meditation filled me with love and compassion and made me cry.
When I came out of the course I felt that I had no enemies. All were my relatives. My mind was filled with love, compassion and sympathetic joy towards everyone. I thought that I must have performed some good action in a past life, and as a consequence of that I was born in the lap of the affectionate and compassionate Mother-India: salutations to you, Mother-India. Now I really understood why India is designated as the "world teacher." A sort of pride arose in me to be an Indian. I felt one with all created beings of the earth.
Now the only religion for me is to help miserable people to be free of their miseries: may all beings walk on the path of pure Dhamma; may all be religious in the true sense of the term. By adopting the practice of Vipassana I have found the right direction in life and this has made life worthwhile. The path is long but it becomes straight and easy.
Vipassana has naturally helped me to come out of bad habits. It has given me the strength to smile in desperate situations. It has also given me the strength to discharge my responsibilities. I feel less nervous. Day by day I am gaining strength to address bigger and bigger audiences. My life was incomplete without Vipassana.
I would like to tell my young educated Muslims that they should really try Vipassana and see the results. It is a necessity today that people of all different walks of life unite. By escaping from harmful sectarianism they can help establish a really strong national unity. Vipassana is the only solution to all the problems of mankind, because it is universal and it gives such positive fruits.
I bow my head down to my teacher Shri Satya Narayan Goenka and assistant teacher Dr Vithaldas Modi.
Salutations to Dhamma !
Salutations to Buddha !
Salutations to Sangha ! 
